Old Love (edit #1)

[ChristopherSea]

Well, I've been playing with this, probably to avoid more pressing edits. As usual, unsure if I've sucked the bit of life it had out of it.

Marcella, I understand your ambivalence with the versions. Going to ‘they’ from ‘we’ may have depersonalized the poem a bit. The second version also has more of a clinical analysis or texture about it. However, this could just be my read. I do like the 2-step, but again the ‘dance while we can’ sarcasm makes the original have a down to earth appeal. I will read the two versions again for another fresh comparison./Chris