Tectonics

[ChristopherSea]

Hi Chris,

Believe it or not, I've tried this sort of split thing before. Yours worked out better. I like the idea of the oblique split, rather than the horizontal.

I think I would leave out the Tec-----tonics, as that is illustrated by the visual word placement.

To me this second line seems awkward:

"as she strived for a life of veganism,"

maybe:

"while she strove for the life of a vegan,"

It just seems to fit in with what follows better, and with his part.

while she strove for the life of a vegan /He stuck to proven indulgences,

as opposed to:

as she strived for a life of veganism,/He stuck to proven indulgences,

Can't say I like the term "fads", "fad" OK, "fads" just seems awkward. I like "affectations" but that is too long, possibly "whims".

Regardless, a good idea and good executions, with a few exceptions (according to me...that's as close as you'll get me to say "in my opinion").


Dale

Thanks Dale. Yes, I thought that the diagonal slippage might suggest a more gradual drift with some clinging on before total scission. Vegan lifestyle may fit in that line. I shall play with it. Fad implies a possible transient nature to her lifestyle choices. I had tried whims, but I thought that would imply more untested trials. I'll look over the two again. Some good ideas to roll with, if I can find the elbow room. Cheers

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Oh, I really like this, the formatting is so much more than a gimmick. I like italics as a divider in addition to the layout and it certainly suits the subject. I can hear the rift like screeching on a blackboard, both sides are funny but add up to a sad whole.

Strived sounds wrong, strove or something else?

The only other thing is I would like for him to be tec and her to be tonic, but I guess that would pretty well wreck it.

Thanks for the read, sweet.

                                                        Tec         tonics


Their continents obliquely drifted apart               He stuck to

as she strived for a life of veganism,       proven indulgences,

absurd yoga positions and other     like bacon cheese burgers

fads of new age abstinence.     weightlifting and vintage porn.

 

That formatting was a bitch on this site! Nonetheless, I am glad it works for you. I see what you mean with 'tech' being more masculine and 'tonics' feminine. Strove may sound better. I believe strived is past tense and strove past participle. I need to look those up. I can look for another word as well. Thanks so much.

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Dale/Marcella edit 1 posted and it does look better. I used bold to further 'masculate' the right half.