05-28-2014, 01:47 AM
Hi Chris,
Believe it or not, I've tried this sort of split thing before. Yours worked out better. I like the idea of the oblique split, rather than the horizontal.
I think I would leave out the Tec-----tonics, as that is illustrated by the visual word placement.
To me this second line seems awkward:
"as she strived for a life of veganism,"
maybe:
"while she strove for the life of a vegan,"
It just seems to fit in with what follows better, and with his part.
while she strove for the life of a vegan /He stuck to proven indulgences,
as opposed to:
as she strived for a life of veganism,/He stuck to proven indulgences,
Can't say I like the term "fads", "fad" OK, "fads" just seems awkward. I like "affectations" but that is too long, possibly "whims".
Regardless, a good idea and good executions, with a few exceptions (according to me...that's as close as you'll get me to say "in my opinion").
Dale
Believe it or not, I've tried this sort of split thing before. Yours worked out better. I like the idea of the oblique split, rather than the horizontal.
I think I would leave out the Tec-----tonics, as that is illustrated by the visual word placement.
To me this second line seems awkward:
"as she strived for a life of veganism,"
maybe:
"while she strove for the life of a vegan,"
It just seems to fit in with what follows better, and with his part.
while she strove for the life of a vegan /He stuck to proven indulgences,
as opposed to:
as she strived for a life of veganism,/He stuck to proven indulgences,
Can't say I like the term "fads", "fad" OK, "fads" just seems awkward. I like "affectations" but that is too long, possibly "whims".
Regardless, a good idea and good executions, with a few exceptions (according to me...that's as close as you'll get me to say "in my opinion").
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.