05-28-2014, 12:53 AM
Other than the 'ands' and 'commas' already pointed out.
As it goes with each time I read one of your poems, I pick up another gem to add to my education in poetry.
Here: How to draw out an feeling for future understanding. Thanks for the lesson,
R T
"Why keep I hate cockroaches?"
I think it is important to state that the speaker hates cockroaches, as it starts as a starting point from which the journey to empathy begins. Without it one might assume the speaker might not have a revulsion for them, and thus instead of the development of empathy in the speaker, it might have been there all along.
_____________________________________
As it goes with each time I read one of your poems, I pick up another gem to add to my education in poetry.
Here: How to draw out an feeling for future understanding. Thanks for the lesson,
R T
"Why keep I hate cockroaches?"
I think it is important to state that the speaker hates cockroaches, as it starts as a starting point from which the journey to empathy begins. Without it one might assume the speaker might not have a revulsion for them, and thus instead of the development of empathy in the speaker, it might have been there all along.
_____________________________________