< hundred-foot penis >

[rayheinrich]

Now looking back, there is no actual penis at all. Just a creature having the, perhaps unfortunate, look of one. The poor creature can't help but feel awkward around us earthlings.

It is we who should be feeling awkward, Billeye (the closest
I can come to mouthing its name) informs me; as we are the
ones who, at first, think they are witnessing a 100 foot penis.

The question of gender has never come up (only me),
but the question of flaccidity has come up since Bi (Billeye)
weighs about 10% more here on Earth. On Venus Bi would
resemble a 125 foot penis.

After asking (and I trying to answer) various questions
concerning idioms, phraseology, terminology, vernacular,
and the peculiar sexual organs we Earthlings possess;
Bi informed me that he quite enjoyed these:

I would hate to be hung just like this
'Cuz some things would be rather amiss
I would need a blood donor
To get a good boner
And forty-five minutes to piss

Come gather around to my flute
And dance to my clarion’s toot
My flatulence blows
Away all the schmoes
That lick on the sole of my boot

Some say it's a matter of pride
If the penis is lengthy and wide
I may not hit bottom
But skills? Yeah, I got 'em
I'll bang the hell out of the sides

While bellowing fatherly dew
The cock of my hat is askew
I christen the grass
With verse out my ass
In litanies longer than you.

Bi is busy translating some of its own off-color (quite literally)
poetry and will endeavor, with my help, to post it here.