05-20-2014, 08:53 AM
When I look up Song of Solomon 2:14, I get
My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.
Hey jmmc137! Nice to have you! A few things as preliminary,
You're about to get busted for capping the initial letter of each line and for failing to punctuate, and rightly so. I would, if I were you, rush and hurry to drop the initial caps where they're not otw called for, and punctuate so as to conform to your style guide of choice.
Yes, that includes any necessary end-line commas. Ultimately, you might decide based on feedback and your own preferences to omit all punctuation, or some, or to mispunctuate, but the first-draft isn't the place to do that
If you don't fix the caps and punctuation, there's a lot of folks who might skip over you. They'll do so wisely, as your meaning is obscured by the technical deficits.
Here's a proofread to show what I mean. Do you see how easy it is to see certain issues that were previously obscured by the lack of punctuation?
Song of Solomon 2:14
I’ve always questioned the old man’s ways.
He passed away last month.
I’m not sure if I’m sad about it or not.
He usually kept to himself.
No one really knew the current him,
only memories of how he was.
I felt a little bad for the teenager.
He ran away from here last week.
He was always worried.
He carried burdens on his shoulders.
Most of them were unnecessary
and too much to handle, I guess.
Remember the lady with the broom?
She waved it around to scare you away. [or "?"?]
She moved out yesterday.
She couldn’t see that you were pretty.
She thought you would give me a disease.
I open the door.
It feels different from a window.
I see you flying from house to house,
hiding under porches and steps. [or " . . . ]
You seem restless[probably, you'll want a comma here] too.
Their craziness…
it kept you at a distance
and me;
in my room
--no idea how to punctuate the above stanza
But now it’s safe.
Come home, and I’ll take care of you.
Come home and sing to me.
I was going to add a substantive edit, but I can't.
The title references source material with themes unrelated to the work, and the work develops themes and characters absent from the source material. To me, that makes this poem unconstrue-able .
My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.
Hey jmmc137! Nice to have you! A few things as preliminary,
You're about to get busted for capping the initial letter of each line and for failing to punctuate, and rightly so. I would, if I were you, rush and hurry to drop the initial caps where they're not otw called for, and punctuate so as to conform to your style guide of choice.
Yes, that includes any necessary end-line commas. Ultimately, you might decide based on feedback and your own preferences to omit all punctuation, or some, or to mispunctuate, but the first-draft isn't the place to do that
If you don't fix the caps and punctuation, there's a lot of folks who might skip over you. They'll do so wisely, as your meaning is obscured by the technical deficits.
Here's a proofread to show what I mean. Do you see how easy it is to see certain issues that were previously obscured by the lack of punctuation?
Song of Solomon 2:14
I’ve always questioned the old man’s ways.
He passed away last month.
I’m not sure if I’m sad about it or not.
He usually kept to himself.
No one really knew the current him,
only memories of how he was.
I felt a little bad for the teenager.
He ran away from here last week.
He was always worried.
He carried burdens on his shoulders.
Most of them were unnecessary
and too much to handle, I guess.
Remember the lady with the broom?
She waved it around to scare you away. [or "?"?]
She moved out yesterday.
She couldn’t see that you were pretty.
She thought you would give me a disease.
I open the door.
It feels different from a window.
I see you flying from house to house,
hiding under porches and steps. [or " . . . ]
You seem restless[probably, you'll want a comma here] too.
Their craziness…
it kept you at a distance
and me;
in my room
--no idea how to punctuate the above stanza
But now it’s safe.
Come home, and I’ll take care of you.
Come home and sing to me.
I was going to add a substantive edit, but I can't.
The title references source material with themes unrelated to the work, and the work develops themes and characters absent from the source material. To me, that makes this poem unconstrue-able .