Alchemy (edit)

[bbcashdollar]

I like this piece. The opening with the bulleted lines took me off-guard. But you won me over. It reads like an allegory, alchemy from elements to nations. The only phrase which I found too cliche was "crony capitalism".
Thanks for a good read.
poe

Thanks for your thoughts. I viewed list as a bit of a risk, to highlight the hard "sciencey" sounding formulas and theories. I'm not sure I see your point on Crony Capitalism being a cliche, I was using it as a noun, for capitalism with a significant degree of corruption.

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This is an interesting collection of stuff. There is a lot of judgment going on, which is OK since it's a political rant, but I don't know if for me it qualifies as a poem. Not that I get to set the standard or anything as sinister as that, only saying that bulleted lists are not to me "elevated language." Kinda hoity toity, but that's the purpose, no? I understand the premise to be what is sold as alchemy is actually the shopworn, zero-sum game of exploiting the poor, in this case Africans, whose world is already destitute. . . that's the political slant. How that transforms into interesting poetry might require a bit more weaving of your elements. For me the poem starts here:

Those expert in the secrets
of the Emerald Tablet
believe their practice to be a clear path
to riches

this is the thesis of the evil alchemists/developers, which you have in various passages discredited. Good stuff!

Dn

Thanks for your thoughts. Whether it's poetry or not I would leave it to others to decide. I did view the bulleted list as a bit cheeky, but I thought that it highlighted the aspect of economic theory or prescriptions as proven commodities in the developing world. That was also my purpose in relating it to Alchemy. If it's a rant against any thing, it's a rant against structural adjustment. Thanks.