Am I a Fool

[milo]

milo, it looks like you are missing some punctuation after play in stanza 2. I was wondering if you were up for some variation in your repeat: 'a fool', 'the fool' and 'her fool' could be some possibilities.

Thanks for breaking the ice on NaPM posts for work-shopping.

I had a comma there but found it disruptive, technically it is more correct with it in, yes.

I am not against using different refrains (though I do prefer my rondeaus with pure refrains) but I am not sure what it would add. My intent was for the first refrain to ascertain state of mind, the second one to identify address the third to state suggest reasons why he would consider taking action and the fourth to show the narrator's understanding of the consequences of his intended actions. Were i to change them to other pronouns, I don't know what it would mean anymore.

Still, I can see that the second line is causing enough people confusion that you've given me an idea how to fix it.

Thanks for your comments.