05-14-2014, 03:14 PM
I liked the second to last stanza a lot where you present imagery of a person rotting away because of their depression. This seemed to more give the reader a picture of what it may look like to an onlooker to a suffer of depression-- even though this is exaggerated (it's art though hehe). I would have liked it had you included some of the disturbing thoughts or feelings that the victim must suffer through everyday. The intro kind of hits the reader with a bang; not sure if that's what you were intending, because depression is more a disorder that creeps up and slowly traps the victim within its grasps.