05-14-2014, 12:51 PM
Breath of Life
CROSSing/ SEAS from/ DAWN of/ TIME,
eLIC/its WORDS/ for SAIL/or's RHYME.
SINGing/ SONGS to/ LONEly/ WIVES,
the WIND/ in TUNE/ uPON/ the CHIMES.
BEARing/ RAIN when/ SPRING ar/RIVES
or RAN/dom FU/ry, TAK/ing LIVES.
COOLing/ BROW with/ GENTle/ BREEZE,
the SMELL/ of AUT/umn at SUN/rise. (iamb/iamb/anapaest?)
UNseen/ FINGers/ THROUGH the/ TREES,
to SWAY/ the BRANCH/ and RUST/le LEAVES.
PASSing/ OVer / HILLS of/ GREEN,
this REST/less SPIR/it, EARTH/ conCEIVES.
WAVing/ ASPen's/ GOLDen/ SHEEN,
on THROUGH/ the CAN/yon ROCK/ it SCREAMS.
MOANing/ as the COLD/SNOW FLIES (trochee/anapaest/spondee?)
these LONE/ly SOUNDS/ make LONE/ly DREAMS.
"Last SHEET/ on the LINE/" she SIGHS, (iamb/anapaest/iamb?)
"PLEASE sweet/ BREEZE, BLOW/ unTIL/ it DRIES." (trochee/spondee/iamb/iamb?)
A nice sonnet... Still new to scanning so I wouldn’t be surprised if I’ve done the above wrong, The few deviations from meter didn’t bother me, I thought that for the most part, it was smooth and flowing. The last two lines however, i feel would be better if they were the same length, after all, the line length is consistent in the rest of the poem. Overall, I liked it. Marianne
CROSSing/ SEAS from/ DAWN of/ TIME,
eLIC/its WORDS/ for SAIL/or's RHYME.
SINGing/ SONGS to/ LONEly/ WIVES,
the WIND/ in TUNE/ uPON/ the CHIMES.
BEARing/ RAIN when/ SPRING ar/RIVES
or RAN/dom FU/ry, TAK/ing LIVES.
COOLing/ BROW with/ GENTle/ BREEZE,
the SMELL/ of AUT/umn at SUN/rise. (iamb/iamb/anapaest?)
UNseen/ FINGers/ THROUGH the/ TREES,
to SWAY/ the BRANCH/ and RUST/le LEAVES.
PASSing/ OVer / HILLS of/ GREEN,
this REST/less SPIR/it, EARTH/ conCEIVES.
WAVing/ ASPen's/ GOLDen/ SHEEN,
on THROUGH/ the CAN/yon ROCK/ it SCREAMS.
MOANing/ as the COLD/SNOW FLIES (trochee/anapaest/spondee?)
these LONE/ly SOUNDS/ make LONE/ly DREAMS.
"Last SHEET/ on the LINE/" she SIGHS, (iamb/anapaest/iamb?)
"PLEASE sweet/ BREEZE, BLOW/ unTIL/ it DRIES." (trochee/spondee/iamb/iamb?)
A nice sonnet... Still new to scanning so I wouldn’t be surprised if I’ve done the above wrong, The few deviations from meter didn’t bother me, I thought that for the most part, it was smooth and flowing. The last two lines however, i feel would be better if they were the same length, after all, the line length is consistent in the rest of the poem. Overall, I liked it. Marianne