Drive

[ellajam]

Sorry benno, I have been reading this for a while too and still can't get a handle on it. Here are some notes:

Drive

another day starts with
the strike of a match

Racing up the sharp
timbers
The first 4 lines are a nice image, but I can't get it to lead anywhere. Is the capital R a clue? I'm lost.

from the further grey. I don't understand "further grey".

That burning it keeps
the drivers sweating

and clips through the
chatters of the day

until all that is left are
bare hopes.
I'm not sure what that burning is so I don't know why it has these effects.

carrying their smog
down the road

empty luggage for a
black horizon

a horizon,
What empty luggage? Why the double horizon? Again, I'm lost.

where embers
and tears meet.
Pretty end, but too late

I hope this helps you understand why the poem did not work for me. I am not asking for an explanation, just trying to give you some ammo if you choose to edit.

Welcome, I hope you're enjoying the site, great to see you posting critiques.