05-12-2014, 04:01 PM
Do you mean "How can i help myself?"
You said "I laugh" not "I laughed" and also "your touch is"...
the tense reads a bit ambiguous.
The last verse could definitely be improved. Right now it's inoffensive but not eye-catching.
"How can i help myself when *insert final deep metaphor*" Fin.
You said "I laugh" not "I laughed" and also "your touch is"...
the tense reads a bit ambiguous.
The last verse could definitely be improved. Right now it's inoffensive but not eye-catching.
"How can i help myself when *insert final deep metaphor*" Fin.