Depression

[heslopian]

I really enjoyed this poem, though it sometimes feels more like a string of disconnected, if impressive, images than a real poetic narrative. The last couple of verses are my favourite, because they create a strong, powerful landscape which moves elegantly into a claustrophobic space. The "paper dolls" and "bleak city" are especially memorable. My advice would be to make a stronger narrative core, which links your verses to a clear structure with a beginning, middle and end, if you know what I mean.
I'm also not fond of really long lines in poems of otherwise vaguely consistent breaks, though that's a personal aesthetic choice. Thank you very much for the read, and I can see why you call yourself Poe