I Cede You Peace

[nb]

Hi Loretta!

I cede you peace,
I'll keep my passion.
Let's have a gourmet feast,
we'll dress in fashion;
that's who we are,
you're peace and reason too,
and me, am passion
through and through.

I might drop "gourmet". I think the line flows better without it.

I would also add a comma after "you're peace". Are you saying that peace is rational while passion is not? If so, I think you're right about passion (an old Yiddish proverb says: "When the schwanz stands up, the brain lays down") but not necessarily about peace.

You make a nice point here. The person devoted to passion & the person devoted to peace can be civil, even friendly, in spite of their very different outlooks.

Yet, I know your heart
a golden gem,
and I will laugh,
raise up my head
(as once you said)
to make of empty peace
a new facade.

I think that this is the weakest stanza in your poem. What does it add? Why would the passionate person wnt to make of empty peace a facade?

I go with what everyone else is saying about "a golden gem."How about something like "an emerald gem" instead?

I will,
disturb the peace
in my own fashion.
I cede you peace
in search of passion

This is the strongest stanza. It is personal, short, sweet and to the point.

nb