I Cede You Peace

[tectak]

I Cede You Peace

I cede you peace You need some dramatic hiatus here...not just because of the penance of punctuation but because you are metaphorically changing direction but in the same vector...like a ball tossed up into the air must stop before gravity reverses its direction. (physics...don't argue)...so, a comma minimum, if only to give that exquisite weightlessness before the fall back, but your poem.
I'll keep my passion ...and now that the sentence is complete...a period.Look, I know how this sounds, but my granny you ain't
let's have a gourmet feast Sentence...you know what to do
we'll dress in fashion;
that's who we are, strictly " We'll dress in fashion, that's what we do.
You're peace and reason, I'm passion through and through." All is opinion
you're peace and reason too,
and me, am passion
through and through.

Yet, I know your heart
a golden gem, No. Cannot be. Gold is gold, gem is a gem. Hmmm. Maybe....
and I will laugh, and and and is getting andy
raise up my head
(as once you said) Nice phrasing.
to make of empty peace
a new facade.

I will, Oddly, if you mean this pensive pause, a comma is too short.
disturb the peace
in my own fashion.
I cede you peace
in search of passion

Hi loretta,
Critique is not just about finding faults, though it must seem so sometimes. Of course, finding faults is easier than just offering up suggestions...so this will be difficult
Overall, I only found small personal nits which as always, and quite rightly, you may choose to ignore. This is an accomplished piece which unusually says a lottle about a little in a good way. Well done....now can I say I like it?
Best,
tectak