Pipe Dream
#5
Hi Erthona,

there was only supposed to be one hyphen, my apologies. The middle hyphen was meant as a caesura.

"anchor cast" was intended to link on to the next section. Anchor cast SO iron centipedes could chase their dead frontiers.

"a horn blare bushes" I was hoping there was enough of a pause that the comma would be implied to suggest 'a horn blare, bushes fainting"

"what meekness", the not capping was deliberate. I wanted to give the impression of smallness, and I thought a start with a capital detracted from that.

In terms of the sentence:
what meekness remains is hollowed in the trunk of a horn blare. bushes fainting in the mad rush until everything could only grow pretending as if they dreamed to be degenerate skyscrapers. - I guess

I just didn't like the full stop between blare and bushes because I wanted there to be more of a connection between the two parts and hoped there would be a natural enough pause to suggest a small sort of break.
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Messages In This Thread
Pipe Dream - by benno_422 - 05-08-2014, 09:54 PM
RE: Pipe Dream - by kindofahippy - 05-09-2014, 12:14 AM
RE: Pipe Dream - by benno_422 - 05-10-2014, 07:28 AM
RE: Pipe Dream - by Erthona - 05-10-2014, 08:11 AM
RE: Pipe Dream - by benno_422 - 05-10-2014, 10:30 AM
RE: Pipe Dream - by Eugene_Moon - 05-11-2014, 02:58 AM
RE: Pipe Dream - by Martyl - 05-11-2014, 03:43 AM
RE: Pipe Dream - by bbcashdollar - 05-11-2014, 09:57 PM
RE: Pipe Dream - by SuicidalBlueJay - 05-12-2014, 11:09 PM
RE: Pipe Dream - by benno_422 - 05-13-2014, 08:49 AM
RE: Pipe Dream - by Babeanew - 05-14-2014, 07:50 AM
RE: Pipe Dream - by olive_morphia - 05-29-2014, 11:45 PM
RE: Pipe Dream - by Isis - 06-02-2014, 02:25 AM
RE: Pipe Dream - by bena - 06-02-2014, 05:46 AM
RE: Pipe Dream - by Tiger the Lion - 06-02-2014, 06:18 AM
RE: Pipe Dream - by hydroguy - 06-03-2014, 02:38 PM
RE: Pipe Dream - by Sachelcharges - 06-03-2014, 05:13 PM



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