05-10-2014, 12:58 AM
Crow- Thanks for the feedback and the grammar catches. I took alot of you advise when working on edit 2.
Christopher- Thanks for the read over! I pretty much took all of your advise expect for inserting a subject in the first stanza. I think the descriptions of the characters play a bigger role in the poem. Also I like opening up with a description. The edit seems to retain the flow I want in the first couple of drafts while being more grammatically correct. Also the imagery is alot clearer in my opinion.
thanks for the read
Christopher- Thanks for the read over! I pretty much took all of your advise expect for inserting a subject in the first stanza. I think the descriptions of the characters play a bigger role in the poem. Also I like opening up with a description. The edit seems to retain the flow I want in the first couple of drafts while being more grammatically correct. Also the imagery is alot clearer in my opinion.
thanks for the read
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
--mark twain
Bunx
--mark twain
Bunx