Lower Crust

[crow]

Just real quick--

He sips coffee[,] stationed
on a stool, speaking tales
of far[-]away places[no period]
[w]here dreamers visit.

--this caught my attention bc the original makes it to where he's sipping coffee that has been stationed on a stool, and I wanted to say hey about it

---

OK, this, too:

Wandering with no aim.
A train[,] with no passengers[,]
purposely patrolling endless
landscapes.
--unless you like the confusion and ambiguity, which is a totally valid choice, here

Overhearing the youth
from the table behind.
An overhearing ear.
Sits silently alone.

Black suit strapped to
a pale chest, glasses,
polished dress shoes,
a matching laptop.
--just a side note, the suit's being strapped to the chest is redundant. To illustrate, if you said "Black suit strapped to Jimothy," I wouldn't wonder, "but how is it strapped?" I could he wrong there, of course

Gazing [at] his screen,
stocks
--dangling modifier, here. Honest to goodness, this confused me
tell him of a
growing number.
His life's work.

Breathing deep[,] the
suit[-]strapped soul
sighs silently.