Earth-to-Earth

[71degrees]

My mother burned
when I was eight

I watched her skin dance—
a red-and-orange danse macrabre; "i watched her skin dance - a red and orange dance..." even with French spelling it's still not the greatest. That could be one line "her skin, a red and orange danse macabre..."

.....

And most nights my pillow smells
of dust-to-dust when I dream
of her shriveling mouth

This feels very forced to me, you couldn't find where to put the dust so you just sprinkled it in there. A broken-up cliche is still a cliche, although this has potential for effective usage. At the very least I would replace "when" with a semi-colon as it would help the poem maintain a constant rhythm or what have you. All the other stanzas are quick and to the point and then you throw in 5-lines with no stops.

One positive word is better than none. Thanks for the comments, man.