Frankenstein’s Mistress

[Brownlie]

tectak/crow/Brownlie edit 2 Thanks again

I'm glad you're still editing this piece, I think it is an interesting process to watch. I'll make some more comments, but won't be offended if you choose to follow my suggestions or not.
Frankenstein’s Mistress

I did not create the monster,
it crept into my life with you. I watched
trust become your victim,
knifed on an evening stroll.
I couldn’t stem the glut
of self-denial spilling on the walkway
through my fingers.

My suspicions amassed
with each excursion into town.
Men incessantly staring at you,
their eyes incensed, -- This is an interesting use of vision and smell
faces inanimate, as if stricken
by an unnamable malady.

From your smirk, I surmised
that many others gulped down
your addictive cocktails -- You might want to consider getting rid of "addictive cocktails" if it doesn't befuddle your meaning too much. just maybe "gulped down your honeydew words."
of honeydew words,
devoured those alluring glazed lines
you serve for desert. Intoxication
blinded them to the warped nature -- The word nature packs a lot of meaning, especially in relation to a piece of romantic literature which the title alludes to.
behind the body that was all curves.

I imbibed,
but fought the addiction.
Obsession failed to root.
I shall continue to endure,
while you are the one who must flee
to find a new host,
an alternative junkie. Better pack
your bags quickly darling. -- I'm not sure about "better pack your bags quickly darling." I kind of like the idea of a more abrupt Segway to the angry villagers.

Angry villagers with torches and pitchforks
are coming up the driveway.

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tectak/crow/Brownlie edit 1 Thank you

Frankenstein’s Mistress

I did not create the monster,
it came with you. I watched
trust become your victim,
knifed on an evening stroll.
I couldn’t stem the glut
of self-denial spilling on the walkway
through my fingers.

My suspicions amassed
with each excursion into town.
Men incessantly staring at you,
their eyes incensed,
faces inanimate, as if stricken
by an unnamable malady.

From your smirk, I surmised
that many others gulped down
your addictive cocktails
of honeydew words,
devoured those alluring glazed lines
you serve for desert. Intoxication
blinded them to the warped nature
behind the body that was all curves.

I imbibed,
but fought the addiction.
Obsession failed to root.
I shall continue to endure,
while you are the one who must flee
to find a new host,
an alternative junkie. Better pack
your bags quickly darling.

Angry villagers with torches and pitchforks
are coming up the driveway.

-----------------------------------------------
Frankenstein’s Mistress

Trust was your first victim,
knifed on an evening stroll.
A single thrust to the kidney
induced instant shock
before the fool was lost
to us forever.

My suspicions first arose
when we drove into town.
The men would incessantly stare
at you from beneath
their automaton masks,
through berserker eyes.

From your smirks, I surmised
that they too gulped down
your contagious cocktails
of honeydew words,
your toxic desserts served
in thin glazed lines,
all the while knowing your body
was all curves,
your nature contoured.

I imbibed, but was not infected.
Parasitism failed to find foothold,
my adaptive immunity
victorious. I shall continue
to endure, while you must flee
to find a new host.

Better pack your bags quickly
darling, angry villagers
with torches and pitchforks
are coming up the drive.

Made some brief comments.