05-05-2014, 09:32 AM
while it's short, i'd say it longer than short 
i'm knocking on a bit and apart from the losing interest in pretty women i can feel ya. the boldened ship couple for me would work better as the last two lines of the poem though that would throw your rhyme scheme to shit.
an enjoyable read. apart from that i like it as is. thanks for the read.
i'm knocking on a bit and apart from the losing interest in pretty women i can feel ya. the boldened ship couple for me would work better as the last two lines of the poem though that would throw your rhyme scheme to shit.
an enjoyable read. apart from that i like it as is. thanks for the read.
(05-03-2014, 05:07 AM)Erthona Wrote: awake all night
Each day I find when I wake up
that I am one day older,
my strength it seems grows less and less,
and I seem much less bolder.
I’ve lost interest in pretty girls,
they do nothing for me.
I’d rather be upon a ship,
watching waves at sea.
All day long I want to sleep
and this I strive to fight,
yet at days end when darkness comes,
I stay awake all night.
–Erthona
©2014