sorry
i'm reminded of St Christopher carrying the child but i'm also as sure it isn't. all that aside. while some see this sort of riddle as poetry i see it as troublesome. the main reason being the write is trying mainly obfuscate something and writing poetry plays a minor role. the well written ones work but the less well written ones fails miserably. this is one of the latter. mainly because it isn't well written. it has a religious feel to it but it needs more than that.
i'm reminded of St Christopher carrying the child but i'm also as sure it isn't. all that aside. while some see this sort of riddle as poetry i see it as troublesome. the main reason being the write is trying mainly obfuscate something and writing poetry plays a minor role. the well written ones work but the less well written ones fails miserably. this is one of the latter. mainly because it isn't well written. it has a religious feel to it but it needs more than that.
(05-02-2014, 07:01 AM)Willpark Wrote: What is this naked thing?
What is this naked thing,
That cannot walk alone?
Yet when travels hand in hand with me, so you're travelling with when?
Carries mountains on its own.
What is this naked thing,
So small and weak and bold?
Who desires only friendship
Could not care much less for gold. so he cares more for gold..
What is this naked thing,
With neither house nor home,
So proudly walks with man to man, with man to man...so there's 3 of you?
And around the world does roam. reverse speak makes the rhyme feel forced.
And seeks a fragile ally, where did the first line rep go?
To lift up off the ground,
And does so swift and easy,
Without great pomp or sound.
It lives in the silence,
And stillness of the air
And lives in friendship undeserved
And in unrequited care. so many ands.
What is this naked thing,
That loves for loves own sake.
Perhaps it is some kind of god,
Or dreams that walk in wake. sounds good but i can't make it work