Burn

[billy]

half way through i got a sense of deja vu like i was reading the same thing over but with a few different words. on the surface it may seem to be grand but it's really pretty cliche in it's execution. it's also very wordy, half of many lines could be removed without losing anything.

a suggestion would be to cut away any excess, any repetitive statements, any cliche and any forced rhyme.
thanks for the read.

Nothing is like a fire burning in the night. nothing is like a pinch of salt either, they're unquantifiable statements that holds little meaning
It is great to burn the things of old and watch them bring new light. i like this line because i've done it and it's was true for me.

Burn and destroy what is old and try to begin anew. you already said as much
Once all the the old is dead I find my perception begins to skew. skew doesn't work in relation to the previous line it feels forced [put there so the rhyme works and not because it's the right word to use]

Be wary for destruction is both easy and addictive.
Once you burn all you have you may forget how to live.

You may find yourself feeling sadness when the embers grow cold.
For all that's left of what you were are the ashes of what was old.

Burning is a habit of mine destruction is too.
But be wary when the ashes come for you'll never know what to do.

The oldest phoenix knows that through ashes come new birth. re birth, all birth is new
But until what is old is gone you'll never know its worth.

This is the first poem I've actually written, I used to write short stories but I dont have the the time for it anymore. So feel free to rip into it, if I'm not crying and questioning my worth as a human being chances are you're not being honest enough.