Alone

[kindofahippy]

Alone

Tired Fog, Secluded Mist While the humanizing of these elements sets the scene, the haphazard capitalization is distracting enough to ruin the imagery. Capitalize tired, and leave the rest of the words lowercase
Droning heft of dreary dusk descends, "droning" is rather vague. It could refer to cicadas, traffic, or a nearby train, but no context clues are given to provide a possible meaning
Stars are shrouded, lights are blacka more direct "lights are out" would avoid jarring the scene with thoughts of black lights or burned light bulbs
    Dark, Heavy, Dull
Closed Doors, Closed Room, Closed House This and the above line should be discarded. "Dark, Heavy, Dull" simply restates the previous with meaningless repetition and indentation, and it is needless to say that the house is completely closed off with "empty home" in the next line
Dark winter’s weight falls upon an empty homeStill repeating the same old shtick, for emphasis perhaps? A transistion to "cold", instead of just repeating how "dark" and "heavy" the dusk is, would work well in this poem. Consider changing the earlier "dreary" to "chill".
Lilting pianos wander the halls The grammar gives this line a ridiculous connotation. It would be better sonically and logically to begin this line with "The sound of"
    Deserted, Hollow, Cold This line doesn't make any sense here. It should be put right under "an empty home"
Crumpled Trash, Clouds of DustThe occasional capitalazation of significant words can be condusive to a Poet's writing style, but this Title Style Capitalization is Distracting and Jarring
by the sharp winds, by the cold rainsVery loose logical thread here, you run a thin, minimalist line by requiring the reader to add in "moved by" to make any sense of this
Distant grey blocks the sky, cloaks the moonThis may cut it a little too close. I had to sit for a moment to equate "cold rains" with "cold grey rain clouds", and it is confusing to have the rain present yet the clouds distant
    Detached, Distant, AloneMinus the capitalization, this is a more proper use of the indented short line. I find that it can offer a concise ending here, except that the repeat of "Distant" ruins the impact of the line. Possibly, "Detached, reclusive, Alone" for a nice ending on the title word.

As far as sonics go, when read aloud this poem has a tired and very drawn-out appeal to it, which suits the theme nicely. However, the content fails to reinforce that. It produces an idea of absolute desolation, a place devoid of all life, and not just loneliness. Here we have a cold, wet night with "an empty home", and "secluded" weather that nobody seems to be around to notice. Trash and dust lies around, like an abandoned shack in the woods. Imagery such as a "lonely" house or "bitter and unpleasant" weather would better provide the idea of a recluse alone in the harsh elements. This poem needs editing, first for capitalization, then for content, but it is fresh and worth workshopping.