A Coming Storm

[aerickson]

I
"Await the coming storm and the change it brings,
The violent flood of everything."

II
Scale pristine mountains on which evil presides,-[/color] How can an evil mountain be pristine and also have decaying on it?
Staggered by decaying stench,
Of rust and leaden lakes.

Twisted wires mangled 'twixt the monolithic trees,
Mages test the strength of man,
Weakened by disease.

Threshing maw and gnashing steel,
Pollute with acrid breath;
Machinations granted life,
By those who brandish death.This just totally says to me the machines are being run by the Bourgoisie!

Staff-flung boulders clear a path,
Through black machines of hate;
In the throes of this old wrath,
A sullen people wait.

III
"A spell was cast,
And Earth pummeled by the gale;
They summoned frost,
And Metropolis bled by sharpened hail.don't get this line

Glacial downpour,
Mage-winds had toppled the Towers of Gold;
Great powers that were,
Cannibalized by ego and pride."

[color=#0000CD]This is an interesting poem with a lot of imagery. I am a history teacher and this poem brings to mind the changes that the "storm" of industrial revolution brought to the world both socially and environmentally. Is that what you were trying to capture? On a more poetic note, your punctuation is confusing and makes it difficult to flow through the poem.