God is Dead
#11
(04-28-2014, 09:56 PM)RiverNotch Wrote:  
(04-23-2014, 07:59 PM)ChristopherSea Wrote:  'nought but' is a bit awkward and archaic. 'is here' comes off silly and contrived for the rhyme. Perhaps you could work at pairing 'god is dead' with 'chance survives' into your closing.
I think the antiquity of the statement is wonderful, actually: a splash of irony against the future-looking line before it. The poem doesn't need any changing, or any additions: it has a good rhythm and the word choice is strong, plus the terseness makes it all the more forceful in presenting its point. What it needs is a reply. Wink

How about critiquing the poem and not the critiques RiverRot. Wink
My new watercolor: 'Nightmare After Christmas'/Chris
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Messages In This Thread
God is Dead - by Am I A Poet? - 04-19-2014, 11:19 AM
RE: God is Dead - by Erthona - 04-19-2014, 11:35 AM
RE: God is Dead - by AnywherebutHere - 04-20-2014, 12:38 PM
RE: God is Dead - by alatos - 04-20-2014, 11:48 PM
RE: God is Dead - by Nbafan - 04-23-2014, 05:43 AM
RE: God is Dead - by Erthona - 04-23-2014, 01:24 PM
RE: God is Dead - by ChristopherSea - 04-23-2014, 07:59 PM
RE: God is Dead - by RiverNotch - 04-28-2014, 09:56 PM
RE: God is Dead - by ChristopherSea - 04-28-2014, 10:06 PM
RE: God is Dead - by RiverNotch - 04-28-2014, 10:27 PM
RE: God is Dead - by milo - 04-28-2014, 10:34 PM
RE: God is Dead - by ChristopherSea - 04-28-2014, 10:55 PM
RE: God is Dead - by rowens - 04-24-2014, 12:37 AM
RE: God is Dead - by Willpark - 04-28-2014, 11:26 AM
RE: God is Dead - by RiverNotch - 04-28-2014, 10:39 PM



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