He Lives To Fight Another Day
#3
I would remove the "your" from your son... Leaving it as "your wife and son". I agree that savaged body should be changed as well. Although I do like " to mend your mind, come undone" as your referring to the state of the mind.
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Messages In This Thread
He Lives To Fight Another Day - by Willpark - 04-28-2014, 12:00 PM
RE: He Lives To Fight Another Day - by canadian_cowboy - 04-28-2014, 06:17 PM
RE: He Lives To Fight Another Day - by Willpark - 04-28-2014, 07:39 PM
RE: He Lives To Fight Another Day - by ellajam - 04-28-2014, 07:53 PM
RE: He Lives To Fight Another Day - by John Galt - 04-29-2014, 07:10 AM
RE: He Lives To Fight Another Day - by billy - 04-29-2014, 11:10 AM



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