04-26-2014, 08:12 AM
(04-20-2014, 04:45 AM)painter not a poet Wrote: Every breath and lyric sang
a memory that speaks your name
wandering, wrenching, lost infatuation
you took his body but stole my heart Who does "you" refer to? Does it refer to you, the writer?
We let you in and you shared our bed
elated, joy, swirled anticipation
but you never felt the same This sounds very emotionally painful, and for that reason it resonates with the reader.
Memories, haunting my weary mind
fits of rage, sorrow, agony
gone for months but still remain If the last line refers to "Memories," then there should be a comma after "remain" if I read this right.
hide you deep and choke you down
Forever seemed to come and go
your empty promises, looks and lies
a gentle kiss, with poison sealed
darkness crept, the sparkle gone This last stanza resonates with the overall idea and pain of the poem.