04-26-2014, 05:49 AM
Cute poem, has a nice voice to it. You need to be more consistent with punctuation. Punctuation can really help a poem along so pay attention to your commas and periods. Your second stanza is a bit contradictory? It curbs your dreams but it also makes you jump and shake and what would you not do without it. Otherwise, it's cute. I like it.
(02-11-2014, 05:33 AM)shenaz Wrote: O caffeine, O caffeine
Fueling my fantasies
Faithful by morn, faithful by noon
What would I do without you?
O caffeine, O caffeine
Curbing my dreams
Make me jump, make me shake
What wouldn't I do without you.
O caffeine, O caffeine
Coloring my view
Swear by you, swot by you
What would I do without you?
The Silverwood poet