04-26-2014, 05:01 AM
BF and Marianne,
Thank you both for your through crits. Will make grammar changes quickly, will have to contemplate on word choices for longer. I can already see where to trim some parts completely. BTW Marianne in the third to last line those are em dashes not hyphens, it was suppose to have basically the same effect as being parenthetical. Maybe I'll play with that. Bit low today, so I shall curtail my natural verbosity.
Thanks,
Dale
Thank you both for your through crits. Will make grammar changes quickly, will have to contemplate on word choices for longer. I can already see where to trim some parts completely. BTW Marianne in the third to last line those are em dashes not hyphens, it was suppose to have basically the same effect as being parenthetical. Maybe I'll play with that. Bit low today, so I shall curtail my natural verbosity.
Thanks,
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.