I Wished I Was The Water -edited

I Wished I Was The Water -edited

Mopkins Offline

Senior Member

Posts: 166
Threads: 27
Joined: Apr 2014

#18

04-25-2014, 05:33 PM

thanks billy, i agree that line is awkward, i want to give the idea of the water being satisfied by it's caressing of him, I'll think about it. Don't want to use lucky twice in such a short piece, though your suggestion seems more in keeping with the rhythm, such as it has. cheers, Marianne

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Messages In This Thread

I Wished I Was The Water -edited - by Mopkins - 04-06-2014, 07:44 PM

RE: The Shower - by ellajam - 04-06-2014, 10:15 PM

RE: The Shower - by Mopkins - 04-06-2014, 10:36 PM

RE: The Shower - by Thoughtjotter - 04-07-2014, 03:07 AM

RE: The Shower - by Mopkins - 04-07-2014, 03:24 AM

RE: The Shower - by Thoughtjotter - 04-07-2014, 05:10 AM

RE: The Shower - by California - 04-07-2014, 08:00 PM

RE: The Shower - by Mopkins - 04-07-2014, 08:47 PM

RE: The Shower - by California - 04-07-2014, 08:55 PM

RE: The Shower - by Mopkins - 04-07-2014, 09:04 PM