04-25-2014, 07:01 AM
Well, I've picked up the pace of my read and am enjoying the structure more now.
I'd like a comma after "just" here: "It seems unfair yet it is just life is not merciful;"
My issue with "passion's haunted echoes" is first, it makes me roll my eyes, and second, I think the situation inspires new passion, even if it is denied. I'm having trouble getting into a Milquetoast head, I can't buy the point of view but I'm still trying. Maybe I need more boring details.
And do people look at J Alfred Prufrock and Casper Milquetoast as interchangeable? I don't, I still expect Al to toss caution to the wind tomorrow no matter what he says today.
I'd like a comma after "just" here: "It seems unfair yet it is just life is not merciful;"
My issue with "passion's haunted echoes" is first, it makes me roll my eyes, and second, I think the situation inspires new passion, even if it is denied. I'm having trouble getting into a Milquetoast head, I can't buy the point of view but I'm still trying. Maybe I need more boring details.
And do people look at J Alfred Prufrock and Casper Milquetoast as interchangeable? I don't, I still expect Al to toss caution to the wind tomorrow no matter what he says today.
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