Bifurcation

[ChristopherSea]

Hi ET, There is some potential in the piece, but as is, there is far too much abstraction. You have not defined or properly described the scission denoted by the title. ‘when we none’ looks like a typo, delete that ‘we’. If it is a punctuation error, than it is redundant (i.e. when we, none of us,...). Beneath the ‘shades’ should be singular. Sang/unsung is kind of one of those pseudo poetic devices that does not sit well. Something like adventures unsung could work in a piece because there, is something worthy of chronicling. ‘Etching my life line’ might be better, but it borders on cliché. I like the eyes and mouth, but covering them is hard to reconcile. I liked the bird/drift/midriff play, but ‘all that was, was fair’ is another abstraction. Come full circle is a convergence and not a divergence. I think your theme needs to be defined and illustrated better. Good luck with your next edit./Chris