04-24-2014, 08:35 PM
hi ellajam, thanks for reading and commenting. I tend to write in alternating lines of 8 and 6 syllables initially (ABCB), then I end up shoehorning it into a 14 syllable line to make it flow better(AA). written most of my stuff like that since high school, so it's hard to get out of the habit of doing it. I've done a quick edit which I'll post, but to me it's still not right yet. I'm better at editing old poems than I am at editing fresh ones, I'm much more ruthless. I'll see what people think of the edit. thanks again for your time and thoughts