04-24-2014, 09:30 AM
BF,
I've taken on nearly all of your suggestions (If I had money I would hire you as my editor). The one notable exception is
"get on the bus or off the bus" which is a paraphrased line from Tom Wolfe's book "The Electric Kool-aid Acid Test", and it has to do with the subtext, or second level of the poem.
I really do appreciate all your suggestion as it helps tighten the thing up, and also corrected an embarrassing typo.
Thanks again,
Dale
I've taken on nearly all of your suggestions (If I had money I would hire you as my editor). The one notable exception is
"get on the bus or off the bus" which is a paraphrased line from Tom Wolfe's book "The Electric Kool-aid Acid Test", and it has to do with the subtext, or second level of the poem.
I really do appreciate all your suggestion as it helps tighten the thing up, and also corrected an embarrassing typo.
Thanks again,
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.