04-24-2014, 03:40 AM
What Milo said. Plus, there is nothing that makes me care about the poem, it reeks of self pity. Of course I think fogglethorpe has a point, with some rearranging (about half of it cut) and put with the right musics it could possibly work as song lyrics, as the bar for such is not set extremely high these days.
Just one suggestion. In the future try and write a poem with a question in it.
dale
Just one suggestion. In the future try and write a poem with a question in it.
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.