Unicorn

[painter not a poet]

A number of the lines read awkwardly, primarily because there does not seem to be any sustainable rhythm.

The main problem is I have no idea what the speaker is describing. I could guess, but as a reader guessing is not my job. I don't know who "he" is, whose body was stolen, or who did the stealing.

"but you never felt the same" Who is "you" and what did they feel like before they "never felt the same".

The speaker says things that are unattached to anything that would allow the reader to understand what the speaker is talking about.


Best,


Dale

Thank you for the feedback. I can see where you would get lost by the content. Its about a polyamorous relationship where the speaker loves her husband and the other women but the feelings are not the same.

I will work on the rhythm in the future.

Thank you again, Dale, I always respect honesty.