04-24-2014, 12:37 AM
That daytime rebel holding lantern bright
Is not so mad as first he may appear.
The hidden Future still could prove him right,
Now God is Dead and nought but Chance is here.
The word 'hidden' feels like the weakest word in the poem. The two middle lines feel like the weakest lines, at least in the way they're worded. It could do with some more stanzas. The so-called archaic style isn't a problem.
Is not so mad as first he may appear.
The hidden Future still could prove him right,
Now God is Dead and nought but Chance is here.
The word 'hidden' feels like the weakest word in the poem. The two middle lines feel like the weakest lines, at least in the way they're worded. It could do with some more stanzas. The so-called archaic style isn't a problem.