Babbling Old Fool

[Thoughtjotter]

Probably because it is fun. It is great to get to vent ones spleen, to spew self-righteous anger at whatever target. That's normal and very human. However, it is not very effective if you are trying to convince an audience of something.

Best,

Dale

Babbling Old Fool (revision #1)

No ears to hear the babbling old fool,
self taught from his private well-read school.
Someone should embrace each humble word,
to miss any chance would be so absurd.

Speaking aloud to all those in range,
any marvelous phrase he may arange.
Hoping to share to all who would see,
this infinite wisdom offered for free.

Freedom to speak has always been good,
never needing to be understood.
Though on occation he might expect,
babbling old fools get a little respect.

Poetry is much harder than thought jotting.
Hope this is "more better" if not, I'll do it till I get it right.
As this may or might be an ongoing situation for the BOF, I'm not sure when to use may(present) or might(past)

---

Hey thanks, a poem for me. Not metered, but I'll take accentual verse any day. "There is no subject in which he can not reflect." Well that's not true,. most of the sciences I have little knowledge of, I'm not really up on the Egyptian civilization.

His profound thoughts could not be kept to himself,
should such brilliance gather dust on the shelf?

Well probably, but you get what you pay for. Brilliance I take exception to, genius, visionary, or per-cognitive I can go with. I do love so much those who criticize one for having an education as being the a brainless babbler, and in the same breath want to know why you don't know more, or are more accurate in what they say.

Anyway, to the poem. A four foot line (provisionally), ending in rhyming couplets. The rhymes seem unforced, "range" and "arrange" shows cleverness if not imagination.

Line five is tad long.

In line six if one reads "should" as unstressed (as is usual), then the line is short one stress.

As to the content, the tone is slightly strident. Generally it is better to strive for an even handed approach, so the piece does not devolve into a rant, or worse yet preaching. To do so undercuts your credibility with your readers, making you seem more like what you are trying to impune than the thing itself.


In line two, I think a better word choice would be refinement, or even cultivation instead of erudition, as it gives it a satirical bite. I am assuming that satire is what you are going for. Since good satire can generally be read two ways, straight, and of course satirical, it has that keen edge to it that keeps anyone from accusing the writer of attacking another. This shows its hand somewhat, so maybe more sarcasm than satire. I would suggest you lean more to the satirical, as sarcasm is, on the whole, crude and inelegant, and such will general not bring any to your side who are not already there. Yes, the sharp stinging blade from behind hurts much more than the battering ram from in front, as it makes the person feel the fool for being taken unawares. Well must stop now, need to go take my pills for babbling, crankiness, idiocy, and ...what's that last one...oh yes, forgetfulness


Best


dale

Babbling Old Fool (revision #1)

No ears to hear the babbling old fool,
self taught from his private well-read school.
Someone should embrace each humble word,
to miss any chance would be so absurd.

Speaking aloud to all those in range,
any marvelous phrase he may arrange.
Hoping to share to all who would see,
this infinite wisdom offered for free.

Freedom to speak has always been good,
never needing to be understood.
Though on occasion he might expect,
babbling old fools get a little respect.

Poetry is much harder than thought jotting.
Hope this is "more better" if not, I'll do it till I get it right.
As this may or might be an ongoing situation for the BOF, I'm not sure when to use may(present) or might(past)