04-08-2014, 08:34 PM
--I'm looking at the substantive feedback, which is greatly appreciated, but I wanted to note, quickly, that all of the plants, animals, and locations are invented. I most likely should have noted that originally. Thanks!
--CS,
Imho, this is a bad poem, but I wanted to see if the rather flat, D&D-esque descriptions had any draw. I've been compiling a series of these speculative biology poems, and this'n seemed right to scrap, but there's something about it I just like, and I wanted to see if it was just me. I'm taking from your comment that the first move in making this worth reading is a basic order restructuring. Note taken, and I tend to agree . . .
--CS,
Imho, this is a bad poem, but I wanted to see if the rather flat, D&D-esque descriptions had any draw. I've been compiling a series of these speculative biology poems, and this'n seemed right to scrap, but there's something about it I just like, and I wanted to see if it was just me. I'm taking from your comment that the first move in making this worth reading is a basic order restructuring. Note taken, and I tend to agree . . .