Pitchman becomes a Catcher

[ChristopherSea]

Speaking of hearing, what would you say is the difference between the 2 versions below?

Original
"He’ll fear showering in front of men;
dropping his bar of miracle soap."
----------------------------------
He’ll fear bathing in front of the men;
and dropping his miracle soap.

Can you hear and understand the difference?

He’ll fear bathing in front of the men;
and dropping his miracle soap.

This is now nearly all anapaest, with an iamb to start the second line.
Does that help you see how it is rhythmically different from the original version.


Dale

I used that top version in trying to improve the meter based on the recommendations of you, Tom and TrueE. However, I think Tom was not impressed. I like it better without the 'and' but I assume that you like the second anapest version. My ear hears the the top one better. I must march to a different drummer. I do understand that they sound different. Thank you for the scan