Ezekiel's Tears

[Erthona]

Although this has the core of a good poem, I think your use of enjambment with all caps at the start of the lines makes it very difficult to read, nor doe it seem to benefit from the abba rhyme scheme that starts the poem. Overall the poem has good rhythm, paints a clear picture and ends on an energetic note. For me, it is only, what I would have to call the ceaseless artificial introduction of tropes to the poem that makes it less than it could be. Sometimes less is more, and I think that is true in this case.

Best,

dale