Tinnitus

[John Galt]

The car rubbing rubber against
The wet asphalt,
A relentless activity
Until finally – fire.

George my first thought was that "fire" is usually made from "rubbing"
dry things together. Did you have "wet" in there for the imagery or was it to give the "noise" that a sufferer may
hear? if so, does the same noise not come from "asphalt" in its dry state.

A billion babies
Screeching for their mothers,
Their minute legs kicking
For the milk from their bosoms.

The arrangement of the lines make it seem as if the "legs" are" asking for the milk so to speak, maybe L 3 could be L2. The modifier "minute" could go for me. There is some padding within this verse that could be cut.

The whistle of a man,
A sharp knife slicing the silence,
Calling out in the distance for
The dog he never had.

Calling out in the distance for
The dog he never had.
The above lines were the only ones that came over as too abstract for me to grasp their meaning within the context of "tinnitus".

The wind laughs at the joke
until it runs out of breathe,
Stops to inhale,
Then laughs again.

Sweat in form of drops,
Drip on my bed sheets,
And I find myself
Humming along . . .

Does tinnitus cause a sufferer to sweat?.

George I really enjoyed this poem. some great imagery and sound.
JG