Charybdis and Scylla (1st edit)

[Erthona]

Thanks, I will take all advice on punctuation.

"Extant manipulatable objectified, commonality, burble diahorrea. Awful
A sociopathic, depersonalized, anti-person personality."

What have you never heard Gilbert and Sullivan? Your just jealous, those are two great lines.
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"mercifully trod on my grand plan:unmercifully or me no get it"

My (speaker) plan was not so grand, see involvement with demon-chick, involvement was plan. Fate, if you will was merciful to end plan, before it ended me.
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"There were many within her. "We're legend," it said, bugger off...you know why"

I am assuming you disapprove of the textual reference, as you have contempt for the source text? Sorry, can't write poetry with everyone personal prejudice in mind. Sorry, will try and remember what you like and don't the next time.
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"a line to one without eyes to see, or a mind at such loss. very confused. You need sleep"

Read: Fate will not waste it's time on an idiot.
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Tom,

Thanks for the crit, very helpful on punctuation (I at one time had removed them, and they snuck back in. No actually, this is a composite of several, and the punctuation correction somehow didn't make the journey. I will apply verbatim, especially as this is one of your stronger points and probably my weakest. Just something about commas, I don't want them to fill lonely and so I put lots in so they will have company. I have no other explanation. I appreciate your effort on this, it is neither short, nor an easy poem to navigate and I realize the effort it takes.



Dale