04-04-2014, 08:26 PM
(04-04-2014, 02:28 PM)Erthona Wrote: .
Though I liked this the first time round I findmyself between a rock and a hard place...to recrit and repeat myself inaccurately or to leave it to others and risk your pique. On balance I think I will risk another ball at the coconut.
The universe revolved, and there was I,
until fate with its unknowable touch, No comma. Call this (1)
mercifully trod on my grand plan:unmercifully or me no get it
gouged my chest, beat out my eyes. Stop larking about. beatchestgougedeyes
Using my own convictions to break me: A rare dash opportunity.Drop the colon
small minute fractures, one line per each self-lie, dash to start and end this line
the final bone splintered, the fault did crack in me,
crucifying my psyche upon a destitute tree.Love it. Even the did
A bonsai changeling, quiescent succubae:semicolon
green-eyed blonde, long, lithe, and wan, a green eyed blonde dash long ,lithe (1) and wan dash
a user of people, an abuser of drugs,
seducer from the pietistic way.
A match from Abaddon, a manifested pairing: as previous
Narsissa-Lothario, Lilith and Adam.
A token of ruin, breach birth of decay:
self-serving illness claiming truth was passé. love it
There were many within her. "We're legend," it said, bugger off...you know why
A faceted-faced female, her persona long bled,
”We deceive to survive; we're servile to deceive.” awk'ard contrivance not worth the effort
Substantiated-absorption, "Through the dead we live."
Those demon owned eyes perceived only pain Period
they left nothing of her, what there was, was insane. ...there was (1) was insane
A rabbit hole transport, to a myopic worldview, drop 2nd a
for her eyes alone its topology cued. Love it
Extant manipulatable objectified, commonality, burble diahorrea. Awful
A sociopathic, depersonalized, anti-person personality.
A pleasure compass, a sensual schismatized abacus,
each pathogenic inconsonance was a face of this succubus:
sharing its sickness under the façade of love.
Evil cannot exist, without accomplice:
nor subsist, if lies be bound and the truth be told, (1)
as it is below the same on earth, the truth will hold. comma after below. Punctuation here is log-jammed. Birl
Even so, universal law will not salvation toss
a line to one without eyes to see, or a mind at such loss. very confused. You need sleep
-just so then-
The truth!
Only her self-absorbed suicide did free me:
paid for with fresh, fleshy rows multiplied,
both limbs, the right and the left, punched my ticket to ride.
For luck, she also sliced deep: the middle of her emaciated chest.
Thus broke my will’s final resistance: blood paid freedom’s cost,
Hell's gain, was mine, I never had her, to count her as lost! Hell's gain (1) was mine. I never had her(1) to count her as lost.
So there.
Best,
tectak
–Erthona
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