Pitchman becomes a Catcher

[tectak]

(Dale/trueE edit2) Thanks!

Version1: On the conviction of Kevin Trudeau*

Pitchman becomes a Catcher

Another self-proclaimed savior
has been jailed, but he’s getting off
rather easy; no old fashion flogging,
no looming crucifixion
other than his own character.
He may get the jailhouse adaptation
of his nonsurgical face lift,
or it may sag
from a fairly good beating
by an impartial gang of his peers.
He’ll fear showering in front of men;
dropping his bar of miracle soap.

He will experience humiliation
and vulnerability like his marks;
things that he will involuntarily
commit to mega memory
without employing any special technique
or needing audio-CD instruction.

Perhaps he’ll learn to be a humble
catcher of fast hairy balls,
the antithesis of his counterfeit pitching:
on how baldness can be cured,
that AIDs is a hoax
and sunscreen causes skin cancer.

Only a ten year stretch for his ass,
while we had to suffer two decades
of his asinine infomercials
and never lost weight
or became millionaires.

Yet, millions bought his books
disclosing unobtainable secrets for:
Free Money (piles to be swept up),
Debt Cures (as if it were a disease),
Natural Cures (ah, the rare snake oils).
Remedies for everything from terminal flatulence
to the occasional heart-break of leprosy.

You know those books of revelations,
the ones with the answers and curatives
that ‘They don’t want you to know about.'
Using ‘They’ was supposed to scare us,
but it's the millions that believed
the man who are terrifying.


*Kevin Mark Trudeau is a convicted American fraud artist, author, radio personality, infomercial host, and salesman who promotes various unsubstantiated health, diet and financial "remedies". Several of his books, including Natural Cures "They" Don't Want You to Know About, allege that both the U.S. Food and Drug Administration and the pharmaceutical industry value profit over treatments or cures. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Trudeau

-----------------------------------------------------------
Version2; for convicted conman Kevin Trudeau

Pitchman does time in rhyme

Another self-proclaimed savior
jailed for spurious behavior,
yet getting off rather easy:
no old fashion flagellation
or outlandish crucifixion,
other than his own character.

He should get the jailhouse makeshift
of his nonsurgical face lift,
but it may sag from the beating
by a neutral gang of his peers
during weekly showers, he’ll fear
the miracle soap bar slipping.

He will know humiliation,
insecurity’s affliction;
perhaps empathize with victims
while stuffing acts of buggery
into his mega memory,
without audio instruction.

Perhaps he’ll learn to be humble,
catching hairy balls a fumble
in his counterfeit pitching hands;
admitting baldness can’t cured,
that AIDs victims won’t be ignored,
and sunscreen does not cause cancer.

He’s serving a ten year penance
while we suffered our own sentence
through his silly infomercials
for those books of revelations
that were purely fabrications:
‘They’ don’t want you to know about.


--------------------------------------------------------------
(Dale edit1) Thanks!

On the conviction of Kevin Trudeau (conman , huckster, fraud)*


Pitcher becomes a Catcher


Another self-proclaimed savior
has been imprisoned,
but he’s getting off
rather easy; no old fashion flogging,
no looming crucifixion
other than his character. He may get
the jailhouse adaptation
of his nonsurgical face lift, which could

droop

from a fairly good beating
by an impartial gang of his peers. He’ll learn:
fear of showering in front of men
and of dropping
his bar of miracle

soap.

He may learn about humiliation
and vulnerability like his victims had to;
things that he will involuntarily
commit to his mega memory
with no special technique
or audio-CD instruction required.
Perhaps he’ll learn
to be a humble catcher
of fast balls,
the antithesis of his counterfeit

pitches:

on how baldness can be cured,
that AIDs is a hoax
and sunscreen causes skin cancer.

He serves only a ten year stretch;
we had to suffer two decades
of his infomercials up our asses
and never lost weight

or became millionaires

and yet, millions bought his books
disclosing the secret to Free Money,
to Debt Cures
(as if it were a disease),
to Natural Cures
(ah the rare snake oils)
for everthing:
from terminal flatulence
to the ocasional heart-break
of leprosy.

You know the books,
the ones with the answers
and curatives
that ‘They don’t want you
to know about.'

‘They’ used to scare me,
but not anymore. No,
the millions
that bought his books
are the more terrifying ‘Ones’.

*Kevin Mark Trudeau is a convicted American fraud artist, author, radio personality, infomercial host, and salesman who promotes various unsubstantiated health, diet and financial "remedies". Several of his books, including Natural Cures "They" Don't Want You to Know About, allege that both the U.S. Food and Drug Administration and the pharmaceutical industry value profit over treatments or cures. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Trudeau





----------------------------------------------------------------
On the conviction of Kevin Trudeau (conman , huckster and fraud)*


Pitcher becomes a Catcher


Another self-proclaimed savior
has been incarcerated,
but he’s getting off
easy; no crucifixion,
no old fashion flogging. He may get
the jailhouse adaptation
of his nonsurgical face lift,

and drop

from a fairly good beating
by a gang of his peers. He’ll learn:
to fear showering, exposing himself
to others, to loath fumbling
his bar of miracle

soap.

He will realize horror and humiliation
that some women are subjected to,
the vulnerability that men deny;
things that he will involuntarily
commit to his mega memory
with no special technique
or audio-CD instruction. Perhaps he’ll learn
to like it, how to take it
like a man or someone’s bitch;
a catcher of fast balls,
the antithesis of his counterfeit

pitches:

on how baldness can be cured,
that AIDs is a hoax
and sunscreen causes skin cancer.

He serves only a ten year stretch,
while we suffered through two decades
of fraudulent infomercials
and never lost weight
or became millionaires,
yet millions bought the books
disclosing the secret to Free Money,
Debt Cures, Natural Cures
(the rare snake oils)
you know,
the ones ‘They don’t want you
to know about.'

‘They’ used to scare me,
but not anymore. No,
the millions
that bought his books
are the more terrifying ‘Ones’.

*Kevin Mark Trudeau is a convicted American fraud artist, author, radio personality, infomercial host, and salesman who promotes various unsubstantiated health, diet and financial "remedies". Several of his books, including Natural Cures "They" Don't Want You to Know About, allege that both the U.S. Food and Drug Administration and the pharmaceutical industry value profit over treatments or cures. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Trudeau

---

(Dale/trueE edit2) Thanks!

Version1: On the conviction of Kevin Trudeau*

Pitchman becomes a Catcher

Another self-proclaimed savior
has been jailed, but he’s getting off
rather easy; no old fashion flogging,
no looming crucifixion
other than his own character.
He may get the jailhouse adaptation
of his nonsurgical face lift,
or it may sag
from a fairly good beating
by an impartial gang of his peers.
He’ll fear showering in front of men;
dropping his bar of miracle soap.

He will experience humiliation
and vulnerability like his marks;
things that he will involuntarily
commit to mega memory
without employing any special technique
or needing audio-CD instruction.

Perhaps he’ll learn to be a humble
catcher of fast hairy balls,
the antithesis of his counterfeit pitching:
on how baldness can be cured,
that AIDs is a hoax
and sunscreen causes skin cancer.

Only a ten year stretch for his ass,
while we had to suffer two decades
of his asinine infomercials
and never lost weight
or became millionaires.

Yet, millions bought his books
disclosing unobtainable secrets for:
Free Money (piles to be swept up),
Debt Cures (as if it were a disease),
Natural Cures (ah, the rare snake oils).
Remedies for everything from terminal flatulence
to the occasional heart-break of leprosy.

You know those books of revelations,
the ones with the answers and curatives
that ‘They don’t want you to know about.'
Using ‘They’ was supposed to scare us,
but it's the millions that believed
the man who are terrifying.


*Kevin Mark Trudeau is a convicted American fraud artist, author, radio personality, infomercial host, and salesman who promotes various unsubstantiated health, diet and financial "remedies". Several of his books, including Natural Cures "They" Don't Want You to Know About, allege that both the U.S. Food and Drug Administration and the pharmaceutical industry value profit over treatments or cures. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Trudeau

-----------------------------------------------------------
Version2; for convicted conman Kevin Trudeau

Pitchman does time in rhyme

Another self-proclaimed savior
jailed for spurious behavior,
yet getting off rather easy:
no old fashion flagellation
or outlandish crucifixion,
other than his own character.

He should get the jailhouse makeshift
of his nonsurgical face lift,
but it may sag from the beating
by a neutral gang of his peers
during weekly showers, he’ll fear
the miracle soap bar slipping.

He will know humiliation,
insecurity’s affliction;
perhaps empathize with victims
while stuffing acts of buggery
into his mega memory,
without audio instruction.

Perhaps he’ll learn to be humble,
catching hairy balls a fumble
in his counterfeit pitching hands;
admitting baldness can’t cured,
that AIDs victims won’t be ignored,
and sunscreen does not cause cancer.

He’s serving a ten year penance
while we suffered our own sentence
through his silly infomercials
for those books of revelations
that were purely fabrications:
‘They’ don’t want you to know about.


--------------------------------------------------------------
(Dale edit1) Thanks!

On the conviction of Kevin Trudeau (conman , huckster, fraud)*


Pitcher becomes a Catcher


Another self-proclaimed savior
has been imprisoned,
but he’s getting off
rather easy; no old fashion flogging,
no looming crucifixion
other than his character. He may get
the jailhouse adaptation
of his nonsurgical face lift, which could

droop

from a fairly good beating
by an impartial gang of his peers. He’ll learn:
fear of showering in front of men
and of dropping
his bar of miracle

soap.

He may learn about humiliation
and vulnerability like his victims had to;
things that he will involuntarily
commit to his mega memory
with no special technique
or audio-CD instruction required.
Perhaps he’ll learn
to be a humble catcher
of fast balls,
the antithesis of his counterfeit

pitches:

on how baldness can be cured,
that AIDs is a hoax
and sunscreen causes skin cancer.

He serves only a ten year stretch;
we had to suffer two decades
of his infomercials up our asses
and never lost weight

or became millionaires

and yet, millions bought his books
disclosing the secret to Free Money,
to Debt Cures
(as if it were a disease),
to Natural Cures
(ah the rare snake oils)
for everthing:
from terminal flatulence
to the ocasional heart-break
of leprosy.

You know the books,
the ones with the answers
and curatives
that ‘They don’t want you
to know about.'

‘They’ used to scare me,
but not anymore. No,
the millions
that bought his books
are the more terrifying ‘Ones’.

*Kevin Mark Trudeau is a convicted American fraud artist, author, radio personality, infomercial host, and salesman who promotes various unsubstantiated health, diet and financial "remedies". Several of his books, including Natural Cures "They" Don't Want You to Know About, allege that both the U.S. Food and Drug Administration and the pharmaceutical industry value profit over treatments or cures. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Trudeau
Hi chris,
I have watched this devolve but there is still the danger of it becoming subhumed by its own subject matter. The crits, and that includes me, have not taken kindly to it and I think I know why. If you look at your own struggle with, in honesty, an adversary which you could never defeat (and his name is Meter), you may begin to see something which is not obvious. This is somewhat preachy veracity-not-quite verse and what is more, it needs far more effort in the soul department. It is just too emotional in its reportage but lacking in considered response from you, the writer...it reads like a charge sheet in the hands of a defence barrister who dislikes his client. We hear YOUR thoughts but not the words you ought to say. I would have abandoned this case as a lost cause stanzas ago and it is arguably to your credit that you stuck with it.
Start again but make certain of your single intent.....then write veracity verse...you know the sort of thing...meter, flow, metaphor...and heaven forbid...rhyme and reason
Best,
tectak




----------------------------------------------------------------
On the conviction of Kevin Trudeau (conman , huckster and fraud)*


[b]Pitcher becomes a Catcher


Another self-proclaimed savior
has been incarcerated,
but he’s getting off
easy; no crucifixion,
no old fashion flogging. He may get
the jailhouse adaptation
of his nonsurgical face lift,

and drop

from a fairly good beating
by a gang of his peers. He’ll learn:
to fear showering, exposing himself
to others, to loath fumbling
his bar of miracle

soap.

He will realize horror and humiliation
that some women are subjected to,
the vulnerability that men deny;
things that he will involuntarily
commit to his mega memory
with no special technique
or audio-CD instruction. Perhaps he’ll learn
to like it, how to take it
like a man or someone’s bitch;
a catcher of fast balls,
the antithesis of his counterfeit

pitches:

on how baldness can be cured,
that AIDs is a hoax
and sunscreen causes skin cancer.

He serves only a ten year stretch,
while we suffered through two decades
of fraudulent infomercials
and never lost weight
or became millionaires,
yet millions bought the books
disclosing the secret to Free Money,
Debt Cures, Natural Cures
(the rare snake oils)
you know,
the ones ‘They don’t want you
to know about.'

‘They’ used to scare me,
but not anymore. No,
the millions
that bought his books
are the more terrifying ‘Ones’.

*Kevin Mark Trudeau is a convicted American fraud artist, author, radio personality, infomercial host, and salesman who promotes various unsubstantiated health, diet and financial "remedies". Several of his books, including Natural Cures "They" Don't Want You to Know About, allege that both the U.S. Food and Drug Administration and the pharmaceutical industry value profit over treatments or cures. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Trudeau

Thanks Tom for taking a look at these two. I am not the preacher or the choir here. It's just a commentary on an ignorant and sheepish choir of millions that fell for the false prophet. Unfortunately, I don't hear meter. Another reason for never having been in a choir again. Cheers/Chris

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---

Unfortunately, Chris, you DO hear meter...and what is more, you probably speak it, too. The thinking is the problem.
Best,
Tectak


[b]Thanks Tom for taking a look at these two. I am not the preacher or the choir here. It's just a commentary on an ignorant and sheepish choir of millions that fell for the false prophet and conman who now has to pay for his crimes against society. I do understand your problem with the tone. However, I think I let him off way too easy. He deserves a far greater ass ripping than this. Megalomaniacs like this fraud set science back years due to the simple minds of an ignorant public. There are millions that still believe in his made up claims.

Free verse (version1) has no need or requirement for meter, but I suppose you are referring to the rhyme time version 2. That was an attempt to make it lighter, more whimsical. I am not crazy about it either. I did it for Dale.

Unfortunately, I don't hear meter. Another reason for never having been in a choir for sure. Cheers/Chris