Bushmen shadows

[Erthona]

Yes, the edit is better, the rhyme gives the poem more energy, and the 4,4,4,3 foot line stanza is much better, the very first line still needs some work, as it sets the tone, and it is out of meter. Some word choice suggestions:

Edit 1
sand ripples arid red (deleted the, "the"and "where)
where time-laps clouds roar by,(moved where to front of line, still needs another accent, time-lapse, not time-laps)
white is bleached on searing blue,
the hunting grounds run dry.

Twisted sisal strung on sickle,
your package tour bow to keep,
come and sit beside our fire,
shhh, the shaman is asleep.

Hunters pose for photographs,
stolen souls can't hide their eyes,
tribes stay drunk on provided (proffered, or furnished) drink,
controlled by threats and lies.

The villages have all been scrubbed,
government (now) claims their lands (the land),
these anarchists have paid the price, (this could use some clarity, not sure how and in what way they are "anarchists", nor who they are)
for diamonds on our hands.
__________________________________________________________

Bushmen are in Africa, Australia, and NZ. Your title is a little vague. It's hard for the reader to care about these people, when their identity is so nebulous. I think that needs to be addressed somewhere.

I realize this isn't in workshopping, but it seemed a shame to let it languish here.

Best,

Dale