04-01-2014, 12:53 PM
Here is my Serious Workshopping critique of this Post, pre-modernist poem thing (wouldn't that make it stream o con just nuts, like "fart of darkness", and "to the whitehouse"?).
I would go line by line but as this is not a linear poem, that would be pointless.
I do have a query on one phrasette:
"the world keeps going into itself, folding, abysmal." Are we talking flag manifold here, cause I'm not all that convinced about string theory (Too many god-damn epicycles, you know), and hasn't this already happened. Plus I thought the only way you could fold abysmal...wait, never mind, that's loop quantum gravity.
Ok, so let's get down to the meat of the passed over thing:
What happened to Can o' Beans, and Dirty Sock, did Jesus eat one and wipe his face with the other? I do know where he got the clown shoes. He beat the shit out of Ronald McDonald who was trying to open a competing business across the Skagit County highway, course Plucky helped cause JC is a bit of a mommy's boy, or was that the other Mary he was shagging?
All in all, I'd say it's just better to passover, pass the blood and flesh please, and remember to splash some above the door
or Samael will drop by and he's such a boor! Now where did I put Bena's magic pen, she'll be really pissed if I lost it again. Damn, that stains never going to come out...it's Turin cloth, well no wonder.
Oh BTW What color are pro-onion ribbons. I bet they're white. Christ, I hope they aren't multilayered, crap, now we're back to string theory.
Dale
I would go line by line but as this is not a linear poem, that would be pointless.
I do have a query on one phrasette:
"the world keeps going into itself, folding, abysmal." Are we talking flag manifold here, cause I'm not all that convinced about string theory (Too many god-damn epicycles, you know), and hasn't this already happened. Plus I thought the only way you could fold abysmal...wait, never mind, that's loop quantum gravity.
Ok, so let's get down to the meat of the passed over thing:
What happened to Can o' Beans, and Dirty Sock, did Jesus eat one and wipe his face with the other? I do know where he got the clown shoes. He beat the shit out of Ronald McDonald who was trying to open a competing business across the Skagit County highway, course Plucky helped cause JC is a bit of a mommy's boy, or was that the other Mary he was shagging?
All in all, I'd say it's just better to passover, pass the blood and flesh please, and remember to splash some above the door
or Samael will drop by and he's such a boor! Now where did I put Bena's magic pen, she'll be really pissed if I lost it again. Damn, that stains never going to come out...it's Turin cloth, well no wonder.
Oh BTW What color are pro-onion ribbons. I bet they're white. Christ, I hope they aren't multilayered, crap, now we're back to string theory.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.