Through the Window Light

[tectak]

for me, there's not a lot i can suggest as to improvements, i got stuck o the one line. i like the glut of word filled lines. i expect some will not. i like the chorus, it sort of wakes up the thought of poem and the countryside.
wish i could help more

edit 000.00001 Christophersea

Crack the rosy dawn with curses; curdled cream swings udders full
and veined to burst. He whistles up his sun-crazed collie,
bark the dog
bark the day
bark away.
Greened up beaded scented miles, sods cling clumped on ten ton boots,
agape around his crusted uppers, flapping, slapping, stepping, morn.
stomp the land
stomp the clay
stomp away.
Whistling up the wound meander, [the 1st half of this line is an excellent image]swirled as wind shift; moored to ground
by patched and puddled silver rivets; nailed by ghastly leant, bent tree tacks. [the latter half of this line cleaned my brain out ] i couldn't work it out
slap the fly
slap the calf
slap away.
Rough as ash bark wooden fingers tease the polyester knots from wire
to hoist the hinge's slackened sockets, dry as rust on iron pins.
swing the gate
swing the udders
swing away.
Harboured, held by hauling sucklers, frothed in glass the moon-dropped milk
swirls to rage against the vacuum; dog done driving drops to down.
calling cock
call the hour
call away.
tectak
2014

Hi billy are you back in the Phillys?
Thanks for your time. That line you got stuck on....you mean line one? It was udders, you know, not tits. (Oh god, I can hear erthona blaspheming his way through the spring crocii....one mention of tits and he is out like the genie of the lamp)
Breast,
Tectak