The Roman Sonnet

[Leanne]

The clapping has left you with dactylic tetrameter, almost perfectly regular -- nicely done! (Dactyls are DUM-da-da)

The Roman Sonnet (EDIT ONE)
From humble beginnings, the mightiest rise.
Fresh like a forest that’s absent of cinder. -- I tend to think "cinders" would work better here
They are so anxious, providing demise.
Learnt code of honour, they aim to die victors.

Rigour and vigour is tested and learned.
Called into Gaulle, and then they wait for dark. -- removing "and" will make the meter better here
Watch as the soldiers directly emerge. -- meter works here, but "directly" just sounds odd -- I am at a loss for an alternative at the moment though, sorry
Do what they’re told, lest they face up to Mars. -- would you consider "do as they're told"?

Barbarians rise and the war trumpet calls.
Orcus has spoken for those who oppose.
The judge uncontested, and he’s trumping all.
Aquilo leaves all of them froze in their bones. -- two uses of "all" make this a bit awkward -- perhaps "Aquilo leaves every man froze in his bones"? (I quite like "froze" instead of "frozen")

The lesson is learned, tested confirmed, -- maybe a comma after "tested"
Believe in the legion or rest in an urn!